The family constitutes a specific and ever-changing system in which all the members influence reciprocally. Behaviour and experiencing of individual family members induces reactions of the other ones and the other way around. When a problem emerges, the realtionships in the whole (and also extensive) family are burdened with it.

The family undergoes its specific development during the passing years. Stagnation, a state of being stuck in a blind spot, can happen in every developmental period. In this case, the family stops functioning as a harmonious unit. Communication taboos and alliances of only some members against the other start to arise. Sickness rate of some family members is rising and behavioral disorders of the children emerge…

There are various reasons why my clients have decided to seek out pair or family counseling. Nevertheless, there are frequent and common ones. These are among them:

(psycho)somatic disease of a family member, frequently a child

These families mostly come because of a doctor´s advice. Stress and bad domestic atmosphere have been established as the cause of aggravation of such difficulties as asthma, epilepsy or allergy. In most cases, families say that when bad atmosphere at home is reduced, the symptoms of the ilness are reduced too.

crisis situation

Stories about revealed infidelity, partners who moved away and unfurtunately also stories about death or terminal ilness of a family member belong to this category. Criris as a reaction to a loss is natural and can be handled more easily with therapeutic help.

„either therapy or divorce“

Once in a while, a pair comes to me when one of them hasn´t come to a session too „voluntarily“. Still, we attempt to find a common topic both partners could work on together. Systemical approach enables such work and so it creates space for joint creation of something new and positive.

„technical inspection“

People I know often ask me if even pairs as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the film Mr. And Mrs. Smith come to me. In this film, Mr. And Mrs. Smith sits in a therapy session and they say they take counseling as a technical inspection after five-year marriage. No, they don´t. It would be an interesting work, though.

But it costs something…

Yes, it does, 900 Kč for 90 minutes twice a month isn´t cheap but investing 1800Kč a month for several months into the common life improvement? How much do we invest into entertainment, cosmetic, taxis…Counseling isn´t a mortgage. The goal of efective work is the moment when the family announces it is able to help itself.

I compared price of legal counseling, which isn´t cheaper than 2000 Kč an hour in Prague and it leads to a radical change in future life. I asked google recently how much divorce costs. I didn´t like the results very much.

The therapeutic process

In counselling or therapeutic process the family can uncover and see mechanisms which trigger and maintain unhealthy relationships among particular members. Also possibilities and means leading out of deep-rooted, unsatisfactory and problematical ways of communication and behaviour start to open.

Each family is unique; it needs to find its own way to start functioning so that all the members can live more contentedly and more freely. In therapy, all participants strive for creating new balance so that the family could function as a unit.

Together with the family, we look for possibilities of a change of this relational and situational contexts. If the other family members can understand reasons why such behaviour happens, it contributes to the process of healing change in families. I respect uniqueness of every man, every family and their distingtive possibilities during my work.

Therapy is very often completed by the insight that the family has found a new view to their problem. The family can also see its possibilities to cope with it.

Although the process of therapy is individual, we can say the „typical“ one looks roughly like this: The pair or the family come to a 90 minutes session. The session intervals are once a week at first. They become longer later. Work with the pair can be shorten to 60 minutes in the course of time. Families mostly stay for 90 minutes so that all participants have enough space.

Approximately after half a year, the situation in the family requires us to meet for some time; i.e. for one or two months. The period is gradually lengthen because the family trusts itself more and more that it is able to cope with its situation on its own.

How does systemical approach work in the family?

• we take side with all family members and all views. Everybody has right to understand the situation his own way, which is stimulating within the family organisation
• we don´t look for only one basic cause or link between particular behaviour. We are interested in the process of arising and maintaining of the problems and thier mutual influencing
• respect and regard: We shift away from an expert attitude, which says how relationships should work. We concentrate on an attitude of partnership cooperation and on searching of client’s own ways toward more contented life
• usefulness: The family and the therapist work together in the way which is the most effective, low-cost and beneficial for the family system.
• we regard everybody as an expert in his own life. The therapist only helps, unables and encourages the client to find his own coping resources and skills to use them. The therapist also heartens the client to be responsible for finding his own possibilities to solve his problems
• the therapist is an expert in asking questions, opening of space for new family possibilities and skills to look at problematical areas with a different view. He encourages solving resources which the family possesses and is aware of them but can’t use.
• the therapist is bound with discreteness in relationship to everybody who isn’t present during sessions. This discreteness is unlimited with time and serves to the safety of the client.